Quote of the Day

in reference to how many men seem to love going down on me…

“I am beginning to think my vagina tastes like beer.”

 

Smooches,

Cookie

Holiday Bummer

What the fuck is wrong with some people? Isn’t this the time of giving and holiday cheer…no matter what holiday one chooses to celebrate or not celebrate? Guess not. Thank you Windsor Terrace and The Brooklyn Paper for reminding us all how fucking ridiculous and competitive some people are.

This year, Mike Jordings, a manager at the Key Food in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn, decided to switch things up and put a menorah outside of the grocery store this holiday season. Well, the sight of this apparent audacity (aka the menorah) brought out some of the Christian kooks in the neighborhood and Jording, being the nice guy he is, put up a Christmas tree. Seems only fair? I’ll agree with that. Plus, this non-practicing cultural Jew thinks Christmas is awesome and loves a traditional (Hanukkah bush, oops, I mean…) Christmas tree. However, that wasn’t enough…everyone was complaining! Complaining so much that Jordings, who was just trying to embrace the holiday spirit, had to take down both the menorah and the Christmas tree…and for what? Because a bunch of nosey, close-minded lameos run their mouths too much! Jews, Christians, whatever you celebrate or whatever silly holiday icons you idolize…who cares?! Can’t we all just get along?

inspired by this article http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/32/50/32_50_gk_key_food_menorah.html

Smooches and Happy Holidays!

Julia

Words of Wisdom

I couldn’t have said it better myself…. some words to the wise on feminism.

“On the one hand, no real feminist wants to be like the straw feminists Young and others set up — hateful harridans who use lies to further their own selfish ends. But on the other, shouldn’t feminism be at least mostly about women’s rights? Don’t men have their own movement — that is, all of Western history?

It’s easy to answer yes to these questions, and some of the time, I believe that answer. But I also think that feminism should set out to change all damaging gender stereotypes, including stereotypes about men. The patriarchy — obviously the only thing my simplistic feminist ass cares about — affects everybody, and though it often benefits men, it also fucks them up. And what’s more, it fucks them up in ways that are bad for women. It tells them they need to be sexual aggressors, contributing to rape culture. It tells them they suck at child-rearing and emotional connection in general, which damages their relationships and sticks women with disproportionate familial burdens. And it tells them they need to be big and strong and ready to fight, which makes them both more likely to commit domestic violence and less likely to report it if it happens to them.

All these problems are worth fixing, and feminists — who are experienced at fighting gender stereotyping, and who care about many of the ills created by a rigid social view of masculinity — are well-equipped to help fix them.”

 

This article on Jezebel.com entitled, “Should Feminism Be ‘About Equality for Men?’”, touches on a lot of things including men’s rights groups. I will say that I think most tend to fall under the ‘cry me a river’ category of narrow minded misogynists (who probably aren’t even sure of the correct definitions of, say, misogynist or feminist), however there is some truth is almost everything. Anyway, the above excerpt from the article is I find to be most true and reasonable.

 

Said article: http://jezebel.com/5411836/should-feminism-be-about-equality-for-males?skyline=true&s=x

 

Smooches,

Cookie

Ew…

Hey kittens
Sorry I haven’t hit you up with a new post in a while…I’ve found myself what is known in the business as a “boyfriend”…or in the sex blogging business as a blogger ruiner. While I could blog on for hours about how well equipped he is at giving me the business, sadly there is nothing tragic or funny about it…so…that being said I’m gonna tell you a little story.
You see loves, there was this one time in college. I haven’t told this story to many people but i feel like…its time. You see, well….
I got peed on once.
Wait…wait kittens..before you run away. No, miss blossom is not into water sports. Super swear. This was perhaps one of the most unfortunately hilarious situations I have ever found myself in, ever.
There was once a sex and the city episode about a “Mr. Pussy”. A gentleman who is known for his philandering, and in particular, his oral skills. Well where I went to school there was indeed a Mr. Pussy and he was just as good as can be. He was hot, and weird, and quirky and he and I had what can only be described as a torrid affair.
One night he and I were at a party, and he asked to stay at my apartment for the night (a feat he does not do), in return for a ride to my job in the morning where I worked at a local retail outlet at the mall. Anyway, i said ofcourse, knowing that this venture would lead to orgasms abound.

And it did…oh kittens, the orgasms. Served up on a silver platter they were, with ribbons and rainbows and oh, it was wonderful. Anyway, as I head to sleep, I leave Mr Pussy awake, sitting at my computer drinking a beer or two out of a 30 rack of beer, smoking a ciggarette. I drift off to a lovely sleep. I wake up, 5 hours later, and he is still up, now almost half way through the 30 rack, still smoking, but now drunk as fuck.

“Dude, come to bed. You’re driving me to work in 3 hours”
“lknfoprengpoun” (He was real drunk)

Anyway, so he crawls into bed with me and passes out. Two hours later I am in a dream about waterfalls when I realize something horrible…I’m being peed on. I’m being peed on in a big bad way. This dude is passed out pissing all over me, my bed, and my cute nightgown. I scream and run the fuck out of there to the shower where I viciously scrub myself, in tears, kind of like in that cabin fever movie where her skin slowly peels off and shes in the shower sobbing…anyway..

I scream, poke, prod..dude isn’t waking up. No ride to work and there’s pee on my bed. I go into his pants, remove 50 dollars, and call a cab to get to work. I tried to erase this from my mind until I arrive back at my apartment and dude…hes STILL THERE. The only difference is now he is on my floor wrapped in a towel, passed out. I kick him..hard. He wakes up and I tell him to get the fuck out.

He mumbles something about nice to see me and he leaves, abruptly.
I saw him around a lot after that, when he was out with his horsey faced girlfriend, and I often felt like telling him what he had done, or her for that matter, but I didn’t..and instead it becomes just a tale for my blog 5 years later. Not quite the revenge I would have liked but as a very wise woman said “Resentment is like drinking a poison and then waiting for the other person to die”

Love y’all

Blossom

Ladies ladies

Sorry for my long term absence, but I have been stricken with what we in the business call “sex blog murdering” but in real life is whats known as a “long term, serious relationship”
Scary…I know..look at me..alll dating and stuff.
Anyway, I will have some fun and stories up for you at some point but until now, satiate yourself with, what I personally believe is the most important blog, ever written, ever…asides from this one.

Trust.
love and kisses,
Blossom

just thinking out loud…

It still surprises me that men carry condoms around…

 

Like do you carry them around in your wallet? I don’t know, I guess it the wise thing to do but I think it is strange.

 

(Keep in mind I try to keep them in my make-up bag, just in case)

 

Just thinking out loud….thoughts?

The Good Kind of Surprise Guy

I met HUGE M at Redd’s in Williamsburg. There was whiskey, Kettle Brand Salt and Pepper potato chips (yes, he bought us a snack), skee-ball, and for one of the first times in my life speaking to a man who as actually at eye level with me, literally! HUGE M is 5’3” tall, 5’4” tops! With me at a whopping 5’1” (and ¾ on a tall day), I am so use to looking up to my gentlemen callers. I wasn’t sure what to expect from a shortie man.  Maybe I was being a tad judgmental but I had never hung out with a man so close to my height before. Well, live and learn…

When it came to the basics, he was on point! His jeans were perfectly fitted, his v-neck t-shirt wasn’t too deep, and he had on more than acceptable shoes. Though small in stature, he was big on manners. Sure he was sarcastic but when it came to being chivalrous, he had it. The ice in my glass never got lonely and whenever walking, he would hold me back from the street to look both ways before allowing me to cross. [insert aww here]. Well, when HUGE M and I finally made it to his apartment, I realized that he was one of the rare, actually positive Surprise Guys. HUGE M had a HUGE COCK! Who knew a guy who was 5’3” could physically pack that much cock?

Ladies and gentlemen, I know this might be shocking and I certainly never thought I would say this but it might have been too much cock! Woowee, well, here is to making it work!

And cheers to HUGE M, for being a surprising gentleman with an enormous cock.

 

Smooches,

Cookie

Breaking through the Backdoor

Mr. Controversial stands by his guns, or at least his name, in always creating a semi controversial encounter inspiring a blog post. Though, this time, he left the tampon slinging and despicable ‘making love’ comments at the bedroom door, however he did make it through the backdoor. That’s right! I am talking about rear entry. The other hole, packing the fudge, playing in the mud, the big ol’ backdoor bonanza! And do you know what I have to say about it? It’s really not that bad and it’s really not that big of a deal. Ha! Who knew?

 

Advice: lube it up and go slow!

 

 

Smooches,

Cookie

Fort Worth’s Defense Is Totally Faulty!

I am pretty sure IF I, drunkenly, grabbed a police officers’ junk while he was on duty doing an “inspection” of a bar, I would not have been beaten to the point of unconsciousness and left in a hospital’s  intensive care unit. Unfortunately for a 26 year old man, who most likely did NOT grab/harass/hit on various police officers during a bar raid at Rainbow Lounge in Fort Worth, he was gay, so he must have deserved it, at least according to the police chief of Forth Worth.  

For a more detailed outrage on Fort Worth’s ’finest’ please read:

http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/06/30/fort-worth-police-chief-that-faggot-had-it-coming

Quote of the Day

“Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and that makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average; males are better at hating things that can’t hate them back (e.g., lawnmowers, cats, the Denver Broncos, et cetera). They [men] don’t see the big picture” 

-  Chuck Klosterman, IV A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas

 

Mr. Klosterman is obviously a smarter-than-most man. Thanks Chucky!

 

 

Smooches!

 

Cookie